Teenage Dream
by suzukeii
Summary: A thinly-veiled, off-colour parody of high school AU fics. Anne Frank x Hitler.


"A meeting between two people who complete each other, who are made for each other, borders already, in my opinion, on a miracle."

— Adolf Hitler

* * *

Anne's alarm clock went off at precisely seven on a Monday morning, because she had set it for seven the evening before.

"Schönen guten Morgen!" she exclaimed as she stretched her arms. Everyone, even Moortje, the cat, and Stephan, who was still asleep, immediately shushed her because when you're a Jew hiding in someone's attic in Nazi fucking Germany you don't do things like that.

"Oh, you're all so grumpy in the morning!" she practically sang and pinched Uncle Robert's cheek. He swatted her away, grumbling about spies or mayonnaise or something. She suddenly gasped. "I'll be late for school if I don't hurry up and get ready!"

For you see, today was not only Monday, and not only Day 22 of hiding in a stuffy old attic and slowly going mad, but it was also Anne's first day of high school. And it was a new school, to boot! She would need to look her best.

Anne looked in the only mirror they had in the attic. She saw her grimy reflection, a rather plain girl with large, chocolate brown eyes and shoulder-length brown hair. At fourteen, she wasn't quite a lady, but she felt like she was getting there. Especially now that it was her first day of high school.

"I feel more of a person than a child," she said as she carefully brushed her hair, and her older sister, Margot, threw a pillow at her head. It was her way of saying "kindly shut the fuck up", just without so many words. Usually she threw Moortje, so Anne smiled at her luck.

Unfortunately, Anne didn't have enough time to take a shower, but she promised herself she would get to that later. She dressed herself swiftly and primly. Her favourite outfit included a collared, eggshell shirt with puffy sleeves, covered by a long, red pinafore, and brown mary janes over white socks. The socks were a bit loose on her because they were Stephan's, and they were Stephan's because she hadn't the time to find a pair of her own without any noticeable holes. She put her hair into a bun, letting two strands hang by her face, because fashion trumps logic no matter the era. She neatly affixed her yellow star in her hair, tucked to the side of her bun.

She glanced at her alarm clock, which was still ringing because the narrator never said she turned it off. It was half past seven already. "Oh, nein! It's half past seven already!" she cried, and this time no-one bothered to shush her. The Gestapo would have shown up by now if it mattered, anyway. She grabbed a piece of toast, slathered it with jam, and ran out the door and down the street toward Mustermann High School. She slowed to a walk as she approached the brick building, and she filed in along with a sea of blond hair. She quickly found the guidance centre of the school, cleverly marked "Guidance Centre", even though it was Germany and it ought to have been "Studienberatung", or something along those lines.

"Guten Morgen," she greeted the secretary, who looked up at her disinterestedly over her oval glasses. "I'm the new student here. Annelies Marie Frank." The old lady at the desk, a Mrs Anna Himmler going by the brass nameplate, opened a drawer and fished out a folder. She pulled a sheet of paper out of the folder.

"This is your timetable for this semester," she said. "Fräulein Hansell will help you find your classrooms."

Anne turned to see a girl, slightly taller than she, standing behind her, even though she had most certainly not been standing there a moment before. Liesl Hansell was blond and blue-eyed like the rest of the student body. She had a collared, white dress with a white and blue striped inset in the front and pleats at the front of the skirt that went to her knees. She had completed the ensemble with matching striped slip-on shoes and red socks that were rolled down to puff up at her ankles. Her hair was lightly curled and bounced just above her shoulders as she scooped Anne into an unexpected embrace.

"I can tell we're going to be best friends already!" she exclaimed, but she did this while her arms were still wrapped around Anne, so she nearly deafened the poor new girl. She pulled back with a bright white smile. "So what courses have you got?" she asked as they stepped out of the office.

Anne looked at the timetable in her hands. "First there's Geometry, then Health, then German, then lunch, then Art, then Sports."

"Omg," Liesl said. "You're in my Geometry and Sports classes! I'll be seeing you at lunch, too." The girls shared a mutual squeal. Then the school bell sounded suddenly, a brief, tinkling melody, and Liesl gasped. "Oh, nein! We'll be late for class!"

The girls ran to the mathematics wing, skidding around corners. Thankfully, there was no-one in the halls except for a couple of stoners, so they pretty much didn't crash into anyone. They finally catapulted themselves into the Geometry classroom, where the teacher wasn't particularly excited to see their flushed, breathless selves.

"Take your seats, girls," she said, smacking a ruler disdainfully against her desk. Both of the girls sweatdropped at the dark purple aura around the teacher. She continued talking about the joys of socialism as the two girls headed toward the back of the classroom.

"Yeah," Liesl muttered when they'd taken their seats in the back of the classroom. "She's a total bitch, right?" Anne shook her head softly.

"People are just people," she said quietly, so no-one except Liesl could hear, "and all people have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with a basic goodness."

Liesl's blue eyes widened at this profound statement, and her mouth opened into a little "o" of astonishment. She stared at Anne wordlessly for a moment before she finally found her voice again.

"Omg, are you a hippy or something?" Anne fell backwards anime-style.

~~~Time skip lolololol~~~

The two girls were walking in the hallway after class, Liesl showing Anne the way to the Health classroom, when Anne caught sight of a handsome young man. Most noticeable was the dark shade of his hair and eyes, such a contrast to the unchanging palette around him. He was standing alone, leaning against the lockers and surveying the bustling hallway with crossed arms and an unimpressed face. He was a breath of fresh air.

"Omg," she said, sotto voce. "Who is that?"

Liesl looked in the direction Anne was eyeing and gasped. "You mean…" she said, "...Adolf?"

He seemed like the brooding, mysterious type. In his spare time, he probably listened to djent and death metal like Fritz and the Schnaupenlaufers. From across the hall, his eyes met hers, more intense than she'd expected, and she immediately averted her gaze.

"Chancellor of the Student Council, member of the Architecture Club, and major hottie." Liesl nudged Anne's shoulder. "You like him, don't you?" When Anne could only blush furiously in response, Liesl squealed. "Ooh, I'm totally going to hook you guys up!"

"Ent-fucking-schuldigung?" a snobbish voice came from their left. Both of their heads whipped around to see a group of three girls, headed by a blond. She was wearing a collared, light blue dress with a belted waist and a skirt that fell to her knees. The sleeves, ending halfway to her elbows, were puffy, and a line of fabric was gathered across her bust. On her feet were white flats, and a ribbon, matching the colour of her dress, sat in her short, curly hair. The other two girls were wearing similar outfits, except one of them was light green with black flats and the other was light pink with brown flats. "Do you honestly think my Adolf-baby would want a scummy Jew like you? Your shoes aren't even fashionable."

"Why do you have to be such a total bitch, Eva?" Liesl demanded. "You know Anne is way better than you. You don't deserve Adolf."

"Um," Eva said, holding up a hand. She listed off on her fingers. "I'm richer, I'm prettier, I'm more popular, and I'm totally his type. Trust me, we're going to live together and die together because we're meant to be. We'll also have twin daughters whose existence will be disputed for decades afterward."

"Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power," Anne said confidently, "but in character and goodness."

"Yeah," Liesl said with a firm nod. "What she said."

Eva scoffed disgustedly, and a second later her cronies caught on and scoffed equally disgustedly. "You're such a loser," she said with a wave of her hand. "I can't wait until you realise how ridiculous you sound. Girls!" She snapped her fingers and spun around to leave, the other two girls tailing her like lost puppies.

Health was a simple introductory period, and Anne already spoke fluent German, so German was kind of boring, too. Lunch was nice, and she got to see Liesl again, who excitedly talked about her classes and teachers and was all too ready to gossip about Eva and her posse, despite it being only the first day of school and not many rumours were floating around yet. Anne was pretty sure she made up at least half of them on the spot.

Finally, it was time for Art. Anne enjoyed art. She found it soothing, though she might have preferred writing. She liked being creative in general.

The teacher, a young man named Mr Göring, immediately started them off with an assignment. They were to pick a photograph from his pile of newspapers and adapt them to their provided canvases, adding colour as they saw fit.

Twenty minutes in, and Anne was still adding the final details of her sketch of the Reichstag. She liked to take things slowly. She set down her pencil at last and took a brief stretch as she looked around the room at other students' works. The masterpiece to her right, however, immediately struck her. It was a quaint scene of a town, the colours and detail impressionist and entrancing.

Wow, she thought, leaning over slightly to get a better look. That's amazing.

"Danke schön," the dark-haired boy sitting there said, the brush in his hand hesitating only momentarily in another smooth stroke of terracotta. Anne immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. Had she really said that out loud? She felt her cheeks warm, but they really started to blaze when she reaLiesld who she had just complimented.

"Adolf," she said, the word hardly a breath. He gave her a curt nod and turned back to his work. She spent the rest of class switching between slowly chipping away at her own piece and watching, mesmerised, as he completed his.

~~~~This time skip approved by Hermann Göring :-P~~~~

"Guess what?" Anne said in the girls' locker room when she saw Liesl, who was halfway through changing into her sports clothes. Liesl's head perked up at her voice. "Guess who's in my Art class?"

"Omg, no way," she said after a gasp. "You had him in your Art class?" Anne's cheeks pinkened.

"He's a really good artist, too," she said, almost dreamily. "His landscapes are unreal."

"But he's so...dark," she said. "He seems like he'd be a stone-faced jerk. Something about him rubs me the wrong way."

"I think he's passionate," Anne defended. "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

"You're mad," Liesl said, giggling. "You're absolutely mad."

They played a couple of games of kickball, and Anne secretly (and Liesl not-so-secretly) relished in the moment when the ball smacked Eva right between her angry, blue eyes. They laughed as they returned to the locker room, and they spent the last few minutes chatting before Liesl left to meet up with her boyfriend, Rolfe, outside his Geography classroom.

Finally, the last bell rang, and the pupils poured out of the school. Anne stopped to enjoy the September sun, waiting for the street to clear so she could cross safely.

"Hey, uh, Anne," came a gruff voice from behind her. She turned to see a figure she never thought she would see, much less speak to in person. His dark hair shaded his handsome eyes as he thrust a thin, rectangular parcel toward her. "Here," he said. "I thought you might want this."

She hesitantly took the gift from him, and as she admired his face, his downcast gaze suddenly met hers. For a brief moment, his lips seemed to curve into the barest hint of a smile, and she felt a burning blush spread across her nose and cheeks and up into her ears. She quickly averted her eyes from his penetrating, mesmerising gaze and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear bashfully.

"Danke," she murmured with a nod. But when she looked back up, sure that the fire in her face had cooled some, she found that Adolf had vanished into thin air. She placed a hand on her chest and felt its rapid beat slow gradually to a normal pace.

Anne nearly skipped home, the parcel lovingly tucked against her dress. Once she had climbed into the attic and snuggled into her corner, she slowly peeled the brown paper away, savouring the moment. She found the back of a frame facing her, and she gently turned it over to see a portrait. She gasped, for this was not simply a portrait, but it was a portrait of her, painted by his hand. She gingerly ran a finger down its length, feeling the roughness and the minutiae of his brushstrokes.

Sure, the mouth was a bit too small, and the nose wasn't quite straight, and he'd painted her hair blond and eyes blue, but he'd tried. He'd tried, and he'd managed to bring a bashful blush to her cheeks. And she knew where his true talent lay, anyway: those gorgeous landscapes with their slightly cartoonish figures leaning like they'd had one shot of Obstler too many.

Anne fell back into her bed, smiling to herself and clutching the painting close. She knew he was her teenage dream, and he always would be.

* * *

A/N: I'm not quite sure how this happened, but I don't regret one bit of it. The only thing I could possibly regret is not making this a songfic.

Happy birthday Margot

rip


End file.
